I get hung up on this, just like you.
Posted on May 17 2018
As women, wanting to feel pretty is ingrained in our DNA. I dye my hair religiously. I don’t even know what my natural color is anymore. Some sort of mouse brown, I’m guessing. I own about 29 different shades of lipstick and I think I’ve tried every night cream ever made. I’ve watched makeup tutorials on you-tube trying to get that perfect contoured look and the perfect beach wave, to no avail.
I get hung up on this, just like you.
Feeling pretty this time of year is especially taxing. Summer is hard for us women. Lots of skin shows. We can’t hide in our hoodies and oversized sweaters anymore. We can’t wrap those scarfs around us to hide that wrinkly décolleté. I don’t know about you, but the thought of getting in a swimsuit right now ranks right up there with getting a root canal. You know what? I am my own worst enemy, and I’m guessing you are yours, too. We ALWAYS want what someone else has. You can admire someone else's beauty, but don't let it question your own. You need to focus on what you’ve got going for you. Maybe you have really great hair, great legs, or a great booty. Focus on what is positive and be proud of that. You are enough. For the right hearts, which are the only hearts that matter, you are enough. If you can’t find something good about yourself to focus on, then send me a private message. Right now. If I don’t know you, I’m confident I can Facebook stalk you for two minutes TOPS and find something about you that I wish I had and THAT’S what you need to be focusing on. Your kids don’t care, your family doesn’t care, and your friends don’t care. No one cares about your flabby thighs or your less than flawless skin but you. I know that some of the things I say to myself, I would NEVER say to another human. Don't do that. Stop self-sabatoging.
Besides, looks are temporary. No one will remember you for your perfect bod or your impeccable tan. No one is going to stand up at your funeral and talk about how great you contoured your cheeks or your perfect hair. They just aren’t. They will remember how you made them feel and the type of person you were. Your kindness will be remembered more than any level of beauty you could ever attain. Beauty fades. Wrinkles happen, sun spots pop up, bellies will be adorned with c-section scars and stretch marks, your boobs are going to sag, grey hairs will show up uninvited, cellulite, crow’s feet, and dark circles… they will all find you at some point.
Think for a second about when you first meet someone. Do you decide if you like them based on how pretty they are? How perfect their eyebrows are? If you do, we’ve got bigger issues, but I’m guessing you don’t. You pick your friends and the people you want to be surrounded by based on their personality. If they are a good person. If they have a good sense of humor. That's what you are attracted to, not their face. Being pretty won’t help other people or end world hunger or make your neighbor feel less lonely. The people in my life that I think are the most beautiful do not look like a super model. They are pretty for how they treat people, how considerate they are, how kind they are. They are pretty for many reasons. Their looks are not included.
So, here’s my take home point about being “pretty”. It will never be the most important or the most interesting thing about you. If it is, that’s a real problem. Starting right now, I’m going to be better about focusing on what is good about me, and I want you to join me. When we accept ourselves for the way we are, flawed, broken, and beautifully human, we empower the women around us to celebrate themselves through imperfections as well. THAT makes the world a better place.
I’m not saying I’ll never buy another lipstick or I’ll never slather self tanner on myself again. What I’m saying is that I’m going to embrace what the good Lord gave me. The good, the bad, and the not so flattering. I'm going to focus on the good and try to help you do the same. So I'll be at the pool this summer, rocking my size mom bod that comes complete with cellulite and flab. I will not be contoured and there’s a good chance I’ll be having one of my bad hair days, but I’ll be too busy making memories with my baby to be worried about all that.
I’ll see ya there.
I won't notice you need a pedi. Promise.